Card

hummus card

“Middle age is mostly getting super excited about different flavors of hummus.” DETAILS // • Size: 5...

scorpio card

“Happy Birthday! Cheers to another year of plotting your secret revenge, ‘just saying’ what everyone...

aquarius card

“Happy Birthday! Cheers to another year of rules—what rules? making everyone feel intellectually inf...

pisces card

“Happy Birthday! Cheers to another year of thinking everyone is mad at you, walking around with your...

ralphie/santa card

“Dear Ralphie, You’ll shoot your eye out. Sincerely, Santa” DETAILS // • Size: 4.25 x 5.5 ...

trump dickhead card

“Trump is a dickhead. Get well soon!” DETAILS // • Size: 4.25 x 5.5 • Inside Message: Blan...

favorite person card

“Happy birthday to my favorite person that isn’t me.” DETAILS // • Size: 4.25 x 5.5 • Inside Message...

aren’t dogs card

“It’s really upsetting how many people aren’t dogs.” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5 x 4.25 • Inside Message:...

new excuse card

“A brand new excuse to get out of things! Congratulations on your baby.” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5 x 4....

hangups card

“You gave me life. And like three weird hangups. Happy Father’s Day.” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5 x 4.25 ...

Whole thing card

“You're not old. You just don't need to stay for the whole thing. Happy Birthday!” DETAILS // • Size...

snacks card

“‘There will be snacks.’ – Someone successfully convincing me to do anything” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5...