All Products

Whole thing card

“You're not old. You just don't need to stay for the whole thing. Happy Birthday!” DETAILS // • Size...

snacks card

“‘There will be snacks.’ – Someone successfully convincing me to do anything” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5...

bad decisions card

“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and make bad decisions....

favorite card

“Congratulations. You're my favorite. And by favorite I mean I hate you the least out of everyone.” ...

floor card

“You’re aging gracefully. Except when you try to sit on the floor. Happy Birthday!” DETAILS // • Siz...

Your Party Card

“It's your party and you can cry if you want to. Happy Birthday.” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5 x 4.25 • In...

anybody else card

“I wouldn’t want to put up with anybody else’s shit. Happy Anniversary.” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5 x 4....

serious mistakes card

“Sure, I made mistakes when I was younger. But now that I’m older I’ve learned how to make different...

aries card

“Happy Birthday! Cheers to another year of picking fights, reminding us you’re confident not cocky, ...

Nowhere key tag

“Going nowhere fast.” DETAILS // • Size: 3.5 x 1 • Material: 1/8" cherry wood • Printing: laser engr...

Start earlier card

“You're not old. You just like things to start earlier. Happy Birthday!” DETAILS // • Size: 4.25 x 5...

almanac card

“‘We’re all fucked.’ – The Old Farmer’s Almanac” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5 x 4.25 • Inside Message: bla...