Card

hilarious card

“I miss you. Nobody here understands how hilarious I am.” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5 x 4.25 • Inside Mes...

Substitute Card

"Substitute live, laugh, love with rage, riot, resist! Dine in and to go!" DETAILS // • Size: 4.25 x...

R.E.M. card

“R.E.M. gave me unrealistic expectations for how I’d feel at the end of the world as we know it.” DE...

Say Nothing card

“Nothing makes this better. But I couldn’t say nothing.” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5 x 4.25 • Inside Mess...

Comfortable shoe card

“You're not old. You just value a comfortable shoe. Happy Birthday!” DETAILS // • Size: 4.25 x 5.5 •...

trump asshole card

“Trump is an asshole. Congrats on the new baby!” DETAILS // • Size: 4.25 x 5.5 • Inside Me...

just a number card

“Age is just a number that makes you feel bad about yourself because fuck you’re old.” DETAILS // • ...

Splitting Chores Anniversary Card

“From splitting checks to splitting chores. I love you. Happy anniversary.” DETAILS // • Size: 5.5 x...

advent calendar card

“I opened the first door on my advent calendar, and a tiny pile of dirty laundry fell out. Merry Chr...

Too old card

NEW "Loud & Clear" line in NEON! “Too old to work. Too young to die. Happy retirement!” DETAILS ...

salad card

“The most important thing I’ve learned in life, and I can’t stress this enough; you gotta make a sal...

noah/unicorns card

“Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5. Sincerely, The Unicorns” DET...